Successful dating leads to a successful marriage

Notice the proximity of the letters in the heading? That’s exactly what our dating relationships need to reflect. Many of us dream of being married, having children and enjoying a white -picket fence home by a certain age. However, for some of us, that process may just be and feel like forever. Nonetheless, it’s not too late to find out what it takes to land that successful marriage.

As I write, there is one dating experience that seems to still be at the forefront of my mind. No horror story, just one that really opened up my mind to what I truly desire and deserve. It also taught me what goes on in a man’s mind in regards to marriage, (somewhat). We tend to use the word dating a lot but our focus word should be RELATIONSHIP. According to dictionary.com, the word relationship is described as the way in which two people are connected, regard or behave toward each other. I summarize this as, the behavior of one person towards the other.

When we meet someone that we believe is our potential future spouse, we should approach it with the double Gs>>>>>>>>>> Grace and Gratitude. We are not meeting Mr. or Mrs. Perfect. The reality is, we will most likely experience some of the very same challenges we will face later in marriage. The idea is to discover, explore and practice ways to problem solve. If one is not willing to take this step, then forget marrying this person.

ARE YOU SEARCHING FOR A PROBLEM FREE DATING EXPERIENCE?

Chances are you will never find one. Remember, you are two completely different individuals coming together to share a common goal>>>> land a successful marriage. We cannot skip stages in the process of dating, what I now call building relationship. As the letters in the topic above are curled up against each other, so should you and your partner be. Become best friends, share the good and bad times together, create memories and have each other’s back. Some of us just don’t know how to do that simply because we carry so much baggage from past relationships. Let them go, keep the double Gs alive.

As you grow together as friends bearing one another’s burden, you will soon discover that your partner has everything you lack.  Relax, with double G alive, your partner will be saying the very same of you. You both have to become humble enough to show each other that you need that part of them that you are lacking. Not with words only but with action.

We need to be very careful not to clutter the relationship with too many words, which includes promises. It is so much wiser to show who you are in the good and bad times than to say it. Let your actions speak louder than your words.

A gentleman once said to a young lady, “The way I feel about you if I hear that you have killed someone I would not care.” Those are very strong words and I’m guessing he really loves this girl right? Guess what I found out, they are no longer seeing each other. Whatever happened to that vow? This happens all the time, people get married make vows and end up divorced. If one cannot keep a vow during the dating/building relationship phase, then it will be almost impossible to keep them when married.  How do I know? We find out who we really are, what we are made up of, our substance, when challenges and trials come our way, not when it’s all sunny and beautiful. Conquer the dating phase and you can say you are well on your way, otherwise, relax and wait.

GIVE EACH OTHER THE REAL GIFT

If this special person has captured your eyes and heart, it’s time to give it up. Give the gift of your PRESENCE. There is no point entering into a relationship halfhearted. You already took a risk by falling for this person, allow yourself to flow in love. You can only receive what you put in. Being present in every moment you share together is priceless.  Do not allow yourself to be physically there but emotionally absent. Allow yourself to connect and smile from the inside out. When you are fully present in the relationship, things can only lead to the altar from there.

The greatest part of the journey of successful dating is this if at the end it does not work out, at least you won’t come out broken, with low or lower self-esteem, downing yourself, feeling hopeless but being sure of who you are and optimistic that God has your best friend out there. Hang in there, you will both find each other in the perfect timing.

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