You know how some little girls dream almost every day of falling deeply in love with a prince charming, getting married and living happily ever after? Well, I was one of those girls and could not have been more wrong. Thankfully, I did grow up and my mentality on marriage changed but not as much as it should have. I know there’s a handful of people just like me, who thought marriage was one thing but encountered another or didn’t even think about marriage at all–both male and female–and if you fall into this category, there is no judgement. This one’s for us.
Sometimes, we fail to understand that people are shaped by experiences and this causes change to be inevitable. The occurrence of certain events in one’s life – either good or bad, can change how they act and how they think. This eventually causes them to change and in marriage, you have to be willing to accept these changes and try to make it work. The enthusiastic person you fell in love with can later become someone who is dispassionate and vice versa.
Marriage needs to be nurtured.
Marriage is an intimate relationship that should last for better or for worst and till death do part. But unfortunately, most marriages do not last through the bad. Most couples see marriage as the end of their journey, but it is only the beginning. Marriage is like a seed planted. It has to be nurtured so it can properly blossom. Both partners have to ensure they communicate and maintain honesty with each other. Put in as much effort as they did before marriage and even more. Marriage does not mean you have to stop having date nights or trying new things. Instead, it’s the time to do these things
Fights are not a sign of dysfunction.
It is normal to disagree sometimes. More times than once you both have to agree to disagree. I don’t think it is possible for two people to agree on every decision. Agreeing to disagree is a mature route to follow in an argument– depending on the argument of course! Scenes consisting of yelling and any form of violence should be avoided completely.
Talks about money are necessary.
It is necessary to talk about money. You have to understand that you are now tied to your partnereven financially and their financial problems automatically become yours. Both partners need to make each other aware of their goals and come up with a plan to reach them. Also, if children area possibility, certain adjustments need to be made. You both have to make sure money is being saved and not just spent unnecessarily.
Marriage shows you how hard it is to love someone. In marriage you are with this person 24/7 and you see parts of them you haven’t seen before. You catch them in different moods, sometimes frustrated, other times depressed, as well as happy and ecstatic. You need to learn to love them no matter how they are. Sometimes it may feel like you are falling out of love but there’s nothing to be afraid off because you can fix this by reconnecting with your partner and rediscovering what it was that made you fall in love with them in the first place or even by spicing things up.